IC CONTACT - MASK OR MENACE

[batstard]

[The default voicemail is still set up here. No name is attached to it, just the number.]

Comments

[batstard]

[ Oh.

Well. Alright. This is awkward. Mostly he doesn't know how to deal with Dick Grayson other than being pissed at him, and picking a fight with him. This Dick Grayson is a kid from another universe who barely knows him, and doesn't want to fight him. There is a part of Jason that is angry at Dick for putting him in the awkward situation of not having anything to be angry about. That's so fucking stupid, though. And normally he wouldn't mind being petty as shit with Dick, because fuck him anyway, but in this situation it makes him fee weirdly guilty, because Dick is being decent about it, which just makes him even more pissed because why the fuck should he feel guilty, fuck Dick Grayson anyway, and --

This is probably not going to work. ]

No shit. So if you're not evangelizing, what do you want?

[performance]

Do you even have anyone here who knows you? Besides me and Bruce? And fair warning, if you give one of those lonesome alley cat non-answers I'll know that means no.

[batstard]

[ God, lying is so great. Lying and dissembling and changing the subject is just so much better than actually saying the words "literally every person who has ever given a shit about me in my entire life is here, and you just named them" out loud. ]

You know, Dick, this might be hard for you to get, because you are just so, so desperate for love and attention, all the time, but I actually don't like people and I generally like them even less when I get to know them.

[performance]

[ Okay, so he should probably be above letting obviously petty jabs like that sting, right? Right.

Yeah, that'd be nice. ]

Edgy.

[batstard]

Said the circus transplant to the Gothamite. I'm not a goddamn charity case, Dick, you wanna take care of something go adopt a puppy.

[performance]

With my schedule? Pass.

[ This is getting under his skin, though, more than he wants it to. He doesn't know what he'd expected, and this isn't a surprise... but it's still unbelievably frustrating and he doesn't have an endless well of patience. Maybe this was a stupid idea. Maybe "some version of you liked some version of me once" just isn't enough. ]

There are worse things than having someone who wants to get to know you. And I can count the people here who get where we come from and aren't supervillains on one hand.

[batstard]

Oh, my bad. You actually mean you're lonely and looking to chat up your replacement because you actually want to, you know, not just because you have to check off the box in order to be the good son. Got it.

[ HE SAID, SARCASTICALLY, AS THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT THE CASE. THERE IS NO REASON THAT DICK GRAYSON, WIDELY BELOVED BY EVERYONE, WOULD BE LONELY. ]

[performance]

[ FIRST OF ALL IF YOU'RE NOT COMING TO FAMILY DINNER YOU DON'T GET TO CALL HIM OUT LIKE THAT WOW ]

... What if I am? Just hypothetically, what if you totally called it and I'm just that desperate?

[batstard]

Hypothetically I'd say you'd be in a pretty fucking sorry state if you made it that far down the list of people capable of offering useful emotional support. What's your point, Dick?

[performance]

That's— [ He lets out a breath, a frustrated little huff that's audible over the communicator. ] Are we just supposed to ignore each other? Is that what you want?

[batstard]

As opposed to what, exactly?

[ His own sigh is audible as well. As is the pause while he scrubs at his face. Why... this... ]

Look, Dick. It's nothing personal. Or maybe it is personal, but you're just some kid who didn't actually do anything to deserve me hating his guts, so fuck me, I guess. The point is, I'm not interested in having family or friends or whatever the hell it is you're getting at. Okay? I am not in the happiness and emotional fulfillment game. I'm pretty much just an unpleasant asshole. So what the hell would I want with you, or you with me?

[performance]

Unpleasant assholes deserve friends too.

[batstard]

I don't want friends. What the fuck would I need a friend for?

[performance]

Dude, that's easily one of the saddest sentences I've ever heard.

[batstard]

Not everyone is as needy as you, Dick. And I told you, I'm not fucking interested in being happy or any of that shit. So what the fuck would I need friends for, exactly?

[performance]

You're not interested in being happy? [ Said with all the unimpressed incredulity that a teenage boy can muster, which is a lot. ] Do you listen to yourself when you talk?

[batstard]

Are you judging me? I'm feeling judged right now. Friends aren't supposed to judge each other, Dick. You're awful at this.

[performance]

You have no idea what you're talking about. Friends judge each other all the time. We're off to a wonderful start.

[batstard]

Do friends hang up on each other all the time?

[performance]

All the time. Hang up on me and our pact will be complete.

[batstard]

Ooooooh, almost got me, Dick. But you know, the thing is --

[ YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT THE THING IS BECAUSE

CLICK ]