IC CONTACT - MASK OR MENACE

[batstard]

[The default voicemail is still set up here. No name is attached to it, just the number.]

Comments

voice; december 1st

[performance]

[ Well, this is a conversation that Dick is 100% not sure how to have. But he's feeling kind of depressed and outstandingly lonely today, so it's definitely a great time to stick a fork in a metaphorical power outlet, right? Time to Make Good Choices! ]

So... I know you said I'm way too young to talk to you, but today's kind of my birthday, so I figured I should give it another shot.

[batstard]

[He shouldn't answer. Nothing good can come of this. Not for Jason and not for this kid.

He can't run forever, though, can he?]

Oh yeah? Another shot at what, exactly?

[performance]

Well, we got off on the wrongest possible foot, didn't we? But I want to talk to you. Just Robins, no Batman.

[batstard]

Pretty sure there were wronger possible feet, kid. And I'm not Robin anymore.

Seventeen, you shouldn't even know who I am. Somebody tell you about me?

[performance]

Doesn't matter. You were.

And it's a long story, but not exactly. [ Jason deserves to know, right? Besides, opening with honesty isn't the worst idea. Good faith and all that. ] Earlier this year, I— well, I guess the pithy way to put it is I got a round trip ticket to my own future, courtesy of the Porter. I got to be nineteen here for a while, and everything that came along with that. And now I have all these memories of things that haven't happened to me yet floating around in my head. Some of them are fuzzier than others, but I know they're real.

So a version of me that doesn't exist yet knew, or will know, a version of you that might not be this one. It's messy and stupid and complicated, but you're hard to forget.

[batstard]

[ Hard to forget. But you managed, didn't you. You all moved on. You got some new kid, supposedly you get along well. Better than you and I ever did. I wonder if you even think of me. Probably not, right? What the fuck would the point of that be, thinking about some dead kid who couldn't hack it. Getting weighed down with useless angst just isn't your style, is it, Dick? Dwelling on it is my game.

Anyway let's definitely not say any of that. Self-pity is a bad look. ]

So they tell me.

Dunno what you were hoping for, kid, but I'm not exactly in good with the family anymore. Something about murder being illegal or whatever?

[performance]

Is that your thing now?

[ It's a sincere question, despite the phrasing. ]

I was listening to your argument. And I'm still here talking to you anyway.

[batstard]

That is in fact my thing. Is being a boy scout still your thing? Because I don't really care, but the whole come-to-Jesus thing isn't going to work, I'm not looking to be convinced.

[performance]

I'm not a Boy Scout. And I'm not Bruce. And you're not the first person I've ever talked to who has a body count. I don't like it, and I'd stop you like I'd stop anyone else. But I'm not...

... I'm not going to insult you by talking to you like you just haven't thought it through.

[batstard]

[ Oh.

Well. Alright. This is awkward. Mostly he doesn't know how to deal with Dick Grayson other than being pissed at him, and picking a fight with him. This Dick Grayson is a kid from another universe who barely knows him, and doesn't want to fight him. There is a part of Jason that is angry at Dick for putting him in the awkward situation of not having anything to be angry about. That's so fucking stupid, though. And normally he wouldn't mind being petty as shit with Dick, because fuck him anyway, but in this situation it makes him fee weirdly guilty, because Dick is being decent about it, which just makes him even more pissed because why the fuck should he feel guilty, fuck Dick Grayson anyway, and --

This is probably not going to work. ]

No shit. So if you're not evangelizing, what do you want?

[performance]

Do you even have anyone here who knows you? Besides me and Bruce? And fair warning, if you give one of those lonesome alley cat non-answers I'll know that means no.

[batstard]

[ God, lying is so great. Lying and dissembling and changing the subject is just so much better than actually saying the words "literally every person who has ever given a shit about me in my entire life is here, and you just named them" out loud. ]

You know, Dick, this might be hard for you to get, because you are just so, so desperate for love and attention, all the time, but I actually don't like people and I generally like them even less when I get to know them.

TEXT dec 26th 4:13 am

[pummelgranite]

OI WSA IT YOU MERCED PEDOSTACHE HAL?

dec 26th 4:15 am

[pummelgranite]

YOUMErDED PEDOSTANCH HAL *AND* STABBY MIKE?? WHAT TEH SHITE
KIDNS OF CUNT???

TEXT dec 26th 4:18 am

[pummelgranite]

alright I thought about it
fuck stabby mike, he's a cunt
but ur still a cunt 2

TEXT dec 26th 4:26am

[pummelgranite]

anyway u wanna go?
bar's closed & need someone who doesn't bruise so easy

[batstard]

which pedostache hal theres two

[pummelgranite]

the dead one

[batstard]

then yah

[pummelgranite]

fuck you he had great molly

[batstard]

he literally did not which is why he's dead among other things

who the fuck is stabby mike

[pummelgranite]

THAS JUST YOUR OPINION n uor opnions is shite

mike with the neck beard, smells like deli meat, absolutely never looks away from tits? s actuality ok if you did you conicindced me

[batstard]

i mean my opinion is based on a sophisticated chemical analysis and also the fact that this is my fucking job and yours is based on the fact that you literally cannot tell pure mdma from a mix of bath salts and horse tranquilizer but sure my opinion is shite and i'm a right bloody cunt, pip pip cheerio

[pummelgranite]

yee fuckin haw look at me ive a chemistry set and a cute accent and lax gun laws

uou done with murder tonight?

[batstard]

[ wait is my accent cute

why am i thinking about this ]

i try not to make any promises about that but i don't have any concrete murder plans for the next 12 hours