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[ Well, this is a conversation that Dick is 100% not sure how to have. But he's feeling kind of depressed and outstandingly lonely today, so it's definitely a great time to stick a fork in a metaphorical power outlet, right? Time to Make Good Choices! ]
So... I know you said I'm way too young to talk to you, but today's kind of my birthday, so I figured I should give it another shot.
So... I know you said I'm way too young to talk to you, but today's kind of my birthday, so I figured I should give it another shot.
Well, we got off on the wrongest possible foot, didn't we? But I want to talk to you. Just Robins, no Batman.
Doesn't matter. You were.
And it's a long story, but not exactly. [ Jason deserves to know, right? Besides, opening with honesty isn't the worst idea. Good faith and all that. ] Earlier this year, I— well, I guess the pithy way to put it is I got a round trip ticket to my own future, courtesy of the Porter. I got to be nineteen here for a while, and everything that came along with that. And now I have all these memories of things that haven't happened to me yet floating around in my head. Some of them are fuzzier than others, but I know they're real.
So a version of me that doesn't exist yet knew, or will know, a version of you that might not be this one. It's messy and stupid and complicated, but you're hard to forget.
And it's a long story, but not exactly. [ Jason deserves to know, right? Besides, opening with honesty isn't the worst idea. Good faith and all that. ] Earlier this year, I— well, I guess the pithy way to put it is I got a round trip ticket to my own future, courtesy of the Porter. I got to be nineteen here for a while, and everything that came along with that. And now I have all these memories of things that haven't happened to me yet floating around in my head. Some of them are fuzzier than others, but I know they're real.
So a version of me that doesn't exist yet knew, or will know, a version of you that might not be this one. It's messy and stupid and complicated, but you're hard to forget.
[ Hard to forget. But you managed, didn't you. You all moved on. You got some new kid, supposedly you get along well. Better than you and I ever did. I wonder if you even think of me. Probably not, right? What the fuck would the point of that be, thinking about some dead kid who couldn't hack it. Getting weighed down with useless angst just isn't your style, is it, Dick? Dwelling on it is my game.
Anyway let's definitely not say any of that. Self-pity is a bad look. ]
So they tell me.
Dunno what you were hoping for, kid, but I'm not exactly in good with the family anymore. Something about murder being illegal or whatever?
Anyway let's definitely not say any of that. Self-pity is a bad look. ]
So they tell me.
Dunno what you were hoping for, kid, but I'm not exactly in good with the family anymore. Something about murder being illegal or whatever?
Is that your thing now?
[ It's a sincere question, despite the phrasing. ]
I was listening to your argument. And I'm still here talking to you anyway.
[ It's a sincere question, despite the phrasing. ]
I was listening to your argument. And I'm still here talking to you anyway.
I'm not a Boy Scout. And I'm not Bruce. And you're not the first person I've ever talked to who has a body count. I don't like it, and I'd stop you like I'd stop anyone else. But I'm not...
... I'm not going to insult you by talking to you like you just haven't thought it through.
... I'm not going to insult you by talking to you like you just haven't thought it through.
[ Oh.
Well. Alright. This is awkward. Mostly he doesn't know how to deal with Dick Grayson other than being pissed at him, and picking a fight with him. This Dick Grayson is a kid from another universe who barely knows him, and doesn't want to fight him. There is a part of Jason that is angry at Dick for putting him in the awkward situation of not having anything to be angry about. That's so fucking stupid, though. And normally he wouldn't mind being petty as shit with Dick, because fuck him anyway, but in this situation it makes him fee weirdly guilty, because Dick is being decent about it, which just makes him even more pissed because why the fuck should he feel guilty, fuck Dick Grayson anyway, and --
This is probably not going to work. ]
No shit. So if you're not evangelizing, what do you want?
Well. Alright. This is awkward. Mostly he doesn't know how to deal with Dick Grayson other than being pissed at him, and picking a fight with him. This Dick Grayson is a kid from another universe who barely knows him, and doesn't want to fight him. There is a part of Jason that is angry at Dick for putting him in the awkward situation of not having anything to be angry about. That's so fucking stupid, though. And normally he wouldn't mind being petty as shit with Dick, because fuck him anyway, but in this situation it makes him fee weirdly guilty, because Dick is being decent about it, which just makes him even more pissed because why the fuck should he feel guilty, fuck Dick Grayson anyway, and --
This is probably not going to work. ]
No shit. So if you're not evangelizing, what do you want?
Do you even have anyone here who knows you? Besides me and Bruce? And fair warning, if you give one of those lonesome alley cat non-answers I'll know that means no.
[ God, lying is so great. Lying and dissembling and changing the subject is just so much better than actually saying the words "literally every person who has ever given a shit about me in my entire life is here, and you just named them" out loud. ]
You know, Dick, this might be hard for you to get, because you are just so, so desperate for love and attention, all the time, but I actually don't like people and I generally like them even less when I get to know them.
You know, Dick, this might be hard for you to get, because you are just so, so desperate for love and attention, all the time, but I actually don't like people and I generally like them even less when I get to know them.
[ Okay, so he should probably be above letting obviously petty jabs like that sting, right? Right.
Yeah, that'd be nice. ]
Edgy.
Yeah, that'd be nice. ]
Edgy.
With my schedule? Pass.
[ This is getting under his skin, though, more than he wants it to. He doesn't know what he'd expected, and this isn't a surprise... but it's still unbelievably frustrating and he doesn't have an endless well of patience. Maybe this was a stupid idea. Maybe "some version of you liked some version of me once" just isn't enough. ]
There are worse things than having someone who wants to get to know you. And I can count the people here who get where we come from and aren't supervillains on one hand.
[ This is getting under his skin, though, more than he wants it to. He doesn't know what he'd expected, and this isn't a surprise... but it's still unbelievably frustrating and he doesn't have an endless well of patience. Maybe this was a stupid idea. Maybe "some version of you liked some version of me once" just isn't enough. ]
There are worse things than having someone who wants to get to know you. And I can count the people here who get where we come from and aren't supervillains on one hand.
Oh, my bad. You actually mean you're lonely and looking to chat up your replacement because you actually want to, you know, not just because you have to check off the box in order to be the good son. Got it.
[ HE SAID, SARCASTICALLY, AS THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT THE CASE. THERE IS NO REASON THAT DICK GRAYSON, WIDELY BELOVED BY EVERYONE, WOULD BE LONELY. ]
[ HE SAID, SARCASTICALLY, AS THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT THE CASE. THERE IS NO REASON THAT DICK GRAYSON, WIDELY BELOVED BY EVERYONE, WOULD BE LONELY. ]
[ FIRST OF ALL IF YOU'RE NOT COMING TO FAMILY DINNER YOU DON'T GET TO CALL HIM OUT LIKE THAT WOW ]
... What if I am? Just hypothetically, what if you totally called it and I'm just that desperate?
... What if I am? Just hypothetically, what if you totally called it and I'm just that desperate?
That's— [ He lets out a breath, a frustrated little huff that's audible over the communicator. ] Are we just supposed to ignore each other? Is that what you want?
As opposed to what, exactly?
[ His own sigh is audible as well. As is the pause while he scrubs at his face. Why... this... ]
Look, Dick. It's nothing personal. Or maybe it is personal, but you're just some kid who didn't actually do anything to deserve me hating his guts, so fuck me, I guess. The point is, I'm not interested in having family or friends or whatever the hell it is you're getting at. Okay? I am not in the happiness and emotional fulfillment game. I'm pretty much just an unpleasant asshole. So what the hell would I want with you, or you with me?
[ His own sigh is audible as well. As is the pause while he scrubs at his face. Why... this... ]
Look, Dick. It's nothing personal. Or maybe it is personal, but you're just some kid who didn't actually do anything to deserve me hating his guts, so fuck me, I guess. The point is, I'm not interested in having family or friends or whatever the hell it is you're getting at. Okay? I am not in the happiness and emotional fulfillment game. I'm pretty much just an unpleasant asshole. So what the hell would I want with you, or you with me?
Dude, that's easily one of the saddest sentences I've ever heard.
You're not interested in being happy? [ Said with all the unimpressed incredulity that a teenage boy can muster, which is a lot. ] Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
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