batstard | IC CONTACT - MASK OR MENACE

IC CONTACT - MASK OR MENACE

[The default voicemail is still set up here. No name is attached to it, just the number.]

Oh, my bad. You actually mean you're lonely and looking to chat up your replacement because you actually want to, you know, not just because you have to check off the box in order to be the good son. Got it.

[ HE SAID, SARCASTICALLY, AS THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT THE CASE. THERE IS NO REASON THAT DICK GRAYSON, WIDELY BELOVED BY EVERYONE, WOULD BE LONELY. ]

[ FIRST OF ALL IF YOU'RE NOT COMING TO FAMILY DINNER YOU DON'T GET TO CALL HIM OUT LIKE THAT WOW ]

... What if I am? Just hypothetically, what if you totally called it and I'm just that desperate?

Hypothetically I'd say you'd be in a pretty fucking sorry state if you made it that far down the list of people capable of offering useful emotional support. What's your point, Dick?

That's— [ He lets out a breath, a frustrated little huff that's audible over the communicator. ] Are we just supposed to ignore each other? Is that what you want?

As opposed to what, exactly?

[ His own sigh is audible as well. As is the pause while he scrubs at his face. Why... this... ]

Look, Dick. It's nothing personal. Or maybe it is personal, but you're just some kid who didn't actually do anything to deserve me hating his guts, so fuck me, I guess. The point is, I'm not interested in having family or friends or whatever the hell it is you're getting at. Okay? I am not in the happiness and emotional fulfillment game. I'm pretty much just an unpleasant asshole. So what the hell would I want with you, or you with me?

Unpleasant assholes deserve friends too.

I don't want friends. What the fuck would I need a friend for?

Dude, that's easily one of the saddest sentences I've ever heard.

Not everyone is as needy as you, Dick. And I told you, I'm not fucking interested in being happy or any of that shit. So what the fuck would I need friends for, exactly?

You're not interested in being happy? [ Said with all the unimpressed incredulity that a teenage boy can muster, which is a lot. ] Do you listen to yourself when you talk?